One of the hardest parts of a break up is figuring out what’s yours and what belonged to the relationship. The thought of sorting it all out can be overwhelming and sometimes it might feel like the best thing to do is just forget about dating altogether. But you deserve the effort it takes to move on and get back out there — whatever you want that to look like.

Dating can be hard. It’s exhausting building up all the energy to get all cute, meet someone new, and put yourself out there, only to find yourself on the fifth first date of the month. If you’re stuck in a dating rut, you might be wondering: am I the problem?